Before I became a CycleBreaker, I lived in a self-created story of victimization. Of course I didn’t know that, so I told my victim story with pride and passion. I became a master at telling it — a master at being my story. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that what I was doing and the way I told my story were the very things that kept me stuck. I literally felt myself reliving the story as I told it, crying when necessary, laughing when appropriate and cursing to add impact and definition so that the listener would “get it.” I wanted people to feel the impact of my pain and I wanted validation in my desire to be right about who wronged me.
All I knew was my pain. All I knew was my story.
I felt alone, unworthy, mentally cluttered and emotionally traumatized. I overcompensated, over-talked, over-explained and undermined my intuition. Adapting to traditional family values & patterns, societal, religious and communal norms felt uncomfortable because they never seemed to align with what felt right within me. I constantly looked for love outside of myself, seeking external validation and people pleasing.
My life began to feel dim. I felt lost and inauthentic, so I spent my days masking who I was, just to fit in and feel accepted…and normal.
I attracted the same experiences to myself over and over again — each time, expecting a different result. For the sake of healing, I chose to identify with my story from a new perspective. I chose to tell the whole truth, even if it didn’t make me look good or innocent or wise.
With support and guidance, I chose to ReBirth the story of me! As a result of my inner work and healing process, I realized that I was the only Light I had been looking for. From my enlightened perspective, what I once declared impossible became “I’m Possible.” I accepted ownership, responsibility, and accountability for my thoughts, words, actions and behaviors. That’s when I made the choice to identify as a CycleBreaker and choose to live my life out loud and On Purpose!